Archive | March, 2013

What is a Deadline Fridge?

29 Mar

Sometimes you might forget you’re on deadline.

But then you open your fridge and see this:

deadline fridge, red wine, writing, deadlines, authors, Kinley Baker, Romance Author

A Deadline Fridge

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS FRIDGE BELONGS TO…

Lol.

Have you ever opened your fridge and seen something that might be classified as a Deadline Fridge?

Happy Friday.

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

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Let’s get real about Bob’s Burgers

27 Mar

This post is about a very important issue: Bob’s Burgers. It’s an animated television show on FOX. It makes me sad I have to tell you that the show is on FOX. I bet a lot of you don’t watch it.

I know this because I heard rumors it was almost canceled after the first season.

*raises angry fist*

But they brought it back for a second season.

*cheerleader high kick*

Ouch, totally pulled a muscle.

Anyway, Bob’s Burgers is hilarious. It’s about a family who owns a burger place. But the family is… Wait for it… HILARIOUS.

If you are a fan of the show, go down to the comments and voice your enthusiasm to prove to the people who don’t watch they are missing out. I’m sure you are way more convincing than me.

The three kids are like the greatest three kids ever. I’ve tried to describe why they are so awesome, and I can’t come up with anything compelling enough.

Seriously, you should watch Bob’s Burgers. I dare you.

The humor is just so… Honest? Self-aware? Spot on? It’s life, man. But with a certain spin. The normal becomes funny because what is normal anyway? We’re all strange.

Each character in the show feels like a real person, or perhaps someone we once knew, or someone we’d want to know.

Every episode makes me laugh out loud, and I’m pretty sure the humor isn’t completely offensive. Maybe it is… But I’m pretty sure it’s mostly jokes that won’t raise a ton of red flags.

Actually, you should report back. I might be off base. I don’t get offended very easily. (This is not an invitation to name call. I will cry.)

Since I’ve tried to convince you to watch something you probably don’t watch right now, I am willing to do the same for you. What is a show everyone should watch that you think is hilarious? Please share with us and I will report back as long as I can manage to find an episode to view.

Bob’s Burgers for life! (Read the Special’s Board every episode… That alone is worth it.)

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

*Yawns* – Hey Monday, Looking Good… Err…

25 Mar

I’m not sucking up to Monday… I have no idea what you’re talking about!

Happy beginning of the week. I’m exhausted. I have zombies on the brain, and I’m working on edits for Endured (these two things are not related). My Editor loves the story. Woot!

I’ve been doing something I don’t really like doing though. Listening to the whole final version with text to speech software.

It’s a real pain.

In life, we must sometimes do the things we don’t want to do. I need to stop complaining about it. Lol.

To celebrate, I’m sharing my blurb for Endured. This story nearly ripped me apart from the inside. But don’t worry it also put me back together again.

Blurb for ENDURED

Princess Arianna rises up to defend the women of the Gaspar from the men who made her a victim. Her pain is raw. Her need for the one man out of her reach is vicious. She must save the Gaspar women and prove her worth to a kingdom who questions her strength.

The Head Guard, Reid, depends on his control to tame the darkness inside him because his secrets are better locked away. Only one woman holds the key to breaking him completely. His loyalty is first to the king. Or is it? Ari has the power to bring him to his knees. With his inevitable death by the shadows looming on the horizon, he can’t afford to fall.

King Valerian grants the Gaspar women sanctuary. But the Gaspar men won’t stop fighting until every Shadow Shifter is dead. One side won’t survive the battle.

Thank you for reading!

Do you have any big plans this week?

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

Long overdue love ode: When’s the last time you gave Friday a flower?

22 Mar

Dear Friday,

I just wanted to tell you that you look really pretty today.
I was thinking that maybe you’re under-appreciated and thought hey,
when’s the last time I gave Friday a flower?

A day deserves some loving when it has so much power.
A day deserves some loving when it never, ever cowers.

All I can do is honor you with this horrible poem.
And know that every time you come around, I no longer feel alone.

I love you, Friday.
Don’t tell my husband.
I love you, Friday.
You should be in a rock band.

I give you one flower for always being dependable.
I give you another flower for always being reasonable.

You come at the end of the week, but you’re really the beginning.
You’re modest, but every time you come around I feel like I’m winning.

Thank you, Friday.

Here’s a flower:

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Fridays, Flowers, Give Friday a Flower, Roses

So… what kind of flower are you giving Friday?

Fair warning: Even a hint of enthusiasm for this poem will probably lead to more poetry about inanimate objects. You’ve been cautioned.

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

The dream no one else gets

20 Mar

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve thought in my head: I have this vision…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said this out loud either, but the response has been considerably more negative from outside sources.

Sometimes in life we have this thing. I call it a thing because it’s more relatable to keep it broad. My thing isn’t your thing. (Haha… that makes me laugh.)

Moving on.

You probably don’t have to think long and hard to come up with the dream.

I’ll tell you mine. If life went my way I’d have a steady writing career that makes the same as my day job, plus a little more to compensate for the benefits I wouldn’t be getting. I’d have a ridiculous number of kids who all get along like romance novel siblings. And there would be at least two dogs, eight fish, and a talking porcupine. We’d live on a big boat in the middle of the sea and… Okay, I’m getting carried away.

Now, this is just the dream. Will it ever happen? *shrugs shoulders*

In my head, I have this vision. I try to explain the vision, but as the years pass, the vision becomes clouded. The people in my life start to question. Every big accomplishment suddenly becomes mundane because you realize how much further away the dream is. Much further than you ever imagined.

I have this theory. It’s a theory because it hasn’t worked yet. I’m hoping that sometimes we’re placing pieces into a grand puzzle that is the dream. We don’t understand that every event is just adding to the end picture.

Even when we try to shove the side piece into the center because we’re very frustrated it’s not fitting, that’s still part of the process.

I usually like puzzles. The dream puzzle? Not so much. Hey, I’m just being honest.

I want to know when things will click into place and what I should do next. I’m tired of putting blank pieces into an impossible puzzle.

I can’t show people the blank pieces so I look like a lunatic. Not that I claim to be anything else.

I have another theory. That we can make our own dream puzzle and own the process. We can trust each piece placed will add to the end result. That each struggle to fit will prosper.

So my challenge to you today is to create your own puzzle.

Like this one I made for my husband to make up for being a thoughtless jerk on Valentine’s Day.

puzzle, puzzle pieces, Valentine's Day, Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Love, Thoughtfulness, Being thoughtful

One Dream Puzzle

Side note: Making puzzles from scratch is not only relaxing, but fun! I highly recommend it. Just start with big pieces.

We have to work our way up to the 1,000 piece all-the-same-color puzzle. Although I’m sure that’s a good way to describe that impossible dream we crave so deeply.

We have to trust the process. We have to trust ourselves. In the meantime, who will commiserate with me?

Just kidding! Sunshine and daisies!

*coughs*

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker) aka… one more piece of the puzzle found with this post.

Dance battles to solve the world’s problems

18 Mar

Destiny ensured I was an average dancer because if I was an amazing dancer, I would solve all my problems with dance battles. I’m not kidding.

Out of coffee at work? Dance battle. New arrangement at the grocery store? Dance battle. Argument with my husband? Dance… Well, you get the idea.

This is my dream. And since this would plague the lives of those around me, the world chose not to bestow me with those powers. Super disappointing.

The only thing more disappointing is not being able to sing. I am a rock star in my heart. You’re welcome. If I thought I was a rock star anywhere else, the universe would suffer.

Despite the fact I would not win a dance battle, I do think it would be interesting to use them to solve the world’s problems.

This always works out well in dance movies. I LOVE dance movies. I watched a ton this weekend. You can blame them for this post.

But seriously, people. More dance battles.

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

Hey, World. You be the big dog, we’ll be the brave kittens.

15 Mar

Have an excellent Friday. May you be the brave kitty today!

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)