You’re doing it wrong

13 May

In every committed relationship, there comes that awkward moment when you have to tell your chosen partner they’re doing something wrong. Not just wrong. But like, really, really wrong. Usually, it’s something that builds and builds until the other person can’t handle it anymore.

In my case, it took five years. And the person doing something absolutely wrong is my husband.

I had to tell him. I thought about writing him an open letter, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t read it, so I just told him to his face.

Now, in most cases, I don’t like to tell people they are doing things wrong. There are lots of different ways to live, and who am I to judge people for their choices?

If another person wants to do nothing for their birthday, that’s fine.

But it’s not fine when it’s my chosen partner.

My husband celebrates birthdays wrong.

I am not okay with this.

It’s not just his birthday, but all birthdays.

He drove me crazy a few days ago when his birthday came around because he didn’t want anything special. He didn’t even want cake.

Basically, I spent the whole day being irritated because I wanted to make the day special, and he didn’t.

I know it’s not my birthday and blah, blah, blah, be mature, blah. But DUDE. I just wanted to celebrate his life.

That was bad enough. But now, my birthday is coming up and he keeps saying things like, “It’s not called a birthweek, it’s called a birthday.”

In my head I’m thinking, everyone knows you get to celebrate your birthday for the week before and the week after the actual day.

Then I realize that everyone probably doesn’t know that. And I’m ridiculous. My expectations for birthdays are too high.

And I’m probably the one who celebrates birthdays wrong!

But it’s the day we are BORN. If that event didn’t happen, we wouldn’t be here, so I think it deserves some celebrating.

In completely unrelated news, I bought an origami kit. So stay tuned for pictures! And I think this will replace the threat of the creepy puppet making.

-Kinley Baker


8 Responses to “You’re doing it wrong”

  1. alicamckennajohnson May 13, 2013 at 1:32 am #

    My hubby doesn’t celebrate his birthday- well he lets the kids do something, but only because they want to. He does celebrate mine with flair so I’m fine with it. I also sneak him gifts 🙂

  2. Sarah Brabazon May 13, 2013 at 1:56 am #

    I have this problem with Captain Haddock: he folds clothes wrong, and he does the dishes wrong. Mostly I grit my teeth and try not to open my mouth (because my way of discussing problems is wrong).

  3. Joni Hahn aka Sophie Greyson May 13, 2013 at 11:10 pm #

    Usually I don’t like to celebrate either but many times after I tell my dh I don’t want anything, sure enough, I see something I want but he’s like “no, you said you didn’t want anything.” :/ I don’t like the attention, but that new MacBook Pro would’ve been nice.

    I think, as spouses, it is our duty to celebrate the people that mean most to us. We have a right to celebrate because they make our lives full and worth living. ❤

    I say you contact Hallmark and ask them to start making birthweek cards. Maybe it'll take off. I'm sure the marketing people would like it.

    • Kinley Baker May 15, 2013 at 2:06 am #

      Haha. Birthweek cards will take off everywhere! I think you’re right. It’s our duty to celebrate the people that mean most to us. I’m constantly reminding myself to do this.

  4. Diana Beebe May 14, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    I’m kinda over my own birthdays. It’s more fun to forget what my age is because I don’t feel it. But if you’re into having a birthweek, I think you should have it!

    • Kinley Baker May 15, 2013 at 2:06 am #

      I envy you! I would like to be over my birthdays. Lol. But I’m just not. 🙂

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