Archive | August, 2014

The moment my husband made my life and SYTYCD

8 Aug
First Position, Dancing, Shoes, High Heels, Ballet Flats, Romance Author, Kinley Baker

My dance move.

Some of you might think my husband made my life on those key pivotal days like the day we decided marriage was a good idea or the day we actually pledged ‘til death do us part, but that is not the case.

The actual day my husband made my life was yesterday and it was has everything to do with So You Think You Can Dance.

This is my first season viewing and I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life until now! I am so obsessed it is ridiculous. It is the single show I watch in real time and I’m actually looking forward to Wednesday as a day of the week, which never happens!

Last night we were watching and my husband said *deadpan* “I don’t think he’s making the train.”

Then I erupted into hysterical laughter because he doesn’t even watch the show! He shouldn’t even know what the train is…

Yet, he does and he watched Ricky’s performance and he was not sure he’d make the train.

But then all the other judges went with their feedback and they all LOVED and he said again *deadpan* “Maybe he will make the train.”

This is exactly why I write romance. He totally made my life with this comment. It doesn’t make any sense but it happened.

I want all of you to be surrounded by people who make your life!!! I want all of you to love and be loved and succeed and have gold flaked ice cream.

This is from my most optimistic heart but it’s still true.

I want everyone to be happy and weather the storms. I want to write stories that are flickering lights in the darkness because if you haven’t noticed, life really sucks sometimes.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I blog. That’s why I write.

Find the people who make your life, and never let them go. Unless they want you to… I’m not condoning stalking.

The blog ends here, but can I just say I’m cheating on Ricky with Casey?!?!?! Casey is underrated and AMAZING.

I’m more likely to leave my husband for Jessica, but I have massive crushes on Casey and Ricky. And this is from someone who does not crush celebrities.

Kinley Baker (@KinleyBaker)
Kinley Cade (@KinleyCade)

Maintaining ridiculousness during traumatic experiences like a champ

6 Aug

It occurred to me that I rarely share online what I’m going through in real life and this makes it a little awkward. So I’m going to share a bit more about myself.

Last week I went in for a liver biopsy. It sounds kind of scary and I’d describe how they do it but it’s graphic and makes me shiver, but really, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s pretty basic. In… Out… Done.

Except apparently rarely you can get severe nerve pain? I was heavily drugged for most of the medical explanation but I reacted badly to the biopsy and all I remember is lots of doctors and an emergency x-ray and an emergency ultrasound and etc. until they decided I was okay and sent me home with pain meds.

My first lucid thought was… I’m totally giving a character nerve pain because I know what it’s like!

(There’s a purpose to the story, I swear.)

Also.

Even when all of this was happening I told the doctor, “Sorry for being high-maintenance,” which is a really ridiculous thing to say. *pumps arms in the air like a champ*

Then I felt really insecure about the drama because I turned out to be okay and my husband was sitting in the corner of the hospital room watching all of this.

Anyway, it took me a lot longer to heal than they first told me it would take. And my husband made the comment that Kinley Recovery Time always seems to be twice as long as everyone else.

My first instinct was to say “YOU LIE!” But then he said when I go to the dentist and have completely healthy teeth I can’t eat for the rest of the day and I realized it was true.

I take longer to heal. It’s the same when I get sick.

Guess that goes to show everyone is different and unique and sometimes we have qualities that are inconvenient but life is all about patching over the inconveniences and finding ways to deal.

So that’s my story about the hospital. I want it on record that I maintained my ridiculousness even during trying times.

Kinley Baker (@KinleyBaker)
Kinley Cade (@KinleyCade)

People will lose faith

4 Aug

Rose, Jeans, Kinley Baker, Kinley Cade, Author, Romance

Everyone has a fatal flaw. Some people hide theirs better than others but I think inside everyone is a flaw that will be their downfall if they don’t manage to combat against it.

Mine is insecurity. I have a really tough time keeping the faith, so sometimes I look to other people to supply it.

That’s what insecure people do, right? They seek acceptance and praise is some vague attempt to make up for the fact they don’t believe in themselves.

Well, maybe not all insecure people. But me, for sure.

I see this in myself and I constantly seek something intangible to supplement the lack of whatever barrier I need inside me to prevent the world from seeping into my confidence.

But the world seeps.

People lose faith.

I don’t blame people for losing faith because it’s a natural element of the human condition. The Bible is full of people who win not just for the sake of winning. The Bible is full of stories of people who struggle.

We wouldn’t need faith without struggle.

There really can be no ups without the downs. If people lived in the up all the time, we would live in a world like The Giver.

We’re given the opportunity to choose, and sometimes we choose wrongly.

So I don’t blame people for losing faith. When they look at the puzzle all they see are the pieces. Pieces we’ve chosen to share, or accidentally revealed, or put in a book and published before we realized exactly how much we were showing.

People see puzzle pieces and that piece either fits into their world, or it doesn’t. And it’s that simple sometimes. It makes sense it would be this way because we can’t personally invest in everyone.

I’ve accepted it is inevitable that everyone will lose faith, at one time or another.

My job and mission and responsibility is to not lose faith in myself.

Things bind us with faith like love, devotion, loyalty, honor. These ties help stabilize us in a world full of chaos.

But if everything drops away, we have to have faith in ourselves.

I have to have faith in me. Because when everyone else looks at the pieces and then looks away, I am still here.

This is my life and this is my point of view, unlikable heroine that I often view myself as and all.

The only thing I can choose, beyond the obvious of who I spend time with, what I do for an occupation, where I live, etc.?

I can choose to have faith in myself or not. I can choose to build my own wall of protection instead of depending on an unreliable contractor or not.

Either way, people will lose faith.

And then sometimes… truly remarkable people believe. They stay when others leave. They support you when you’re wondering if you even support yourself.

They are rocks and gifts and they can make you laugh when all you really want to do is cry… or yell.

Because most people will lose faith, these people are the treasurers that pirates seek, the thing in the world worth their weight in value.

Thank you to those people in my life who stay when they could go, believe when the dream is invisible, and love when it would be much easier to walk away.

Kinley Baker @KinleyBaker
Kinley Cade @KinleyCade