Archive | Awkward RSS feed for this section

Maintaining ridiculousness during traumatic experiences like a champ

6 Aug

It occurred to me that I rarely share online what I’m going through in real life and this makes it a little awkward. So I’m going to share a bit more about myself.

Last week I went in for a liver biopsy. It sounds kind of scary and I’d describe how they do it but it’s graphic and makes me shiver, but really, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s pretty basic. In… Out… Done.

Except apparently rarely you can get severe nerve pain? I was heavily drugged for most of the medical explanation but I reacted badly to the biopsy and all I remember is lots of doctors and an emergency x-ray and an emergency ultrasound and etc. until they decided I was okay and sent me home with pain meds.

My first lucid thought was… I’m totally giving a character nerve pain because I know what it’s like!

(There’s a purpose to the story, I swear.)


Even when all of this was happening I told the doctor, “Sorry for being high-maintenance,” which is a really ridiculous thing to say. *pumps arms in the air like a champ*

Then I felt really insecure about the drama because I turned out to be okay and my husband was sitting in the corner of the hospital room watching all of this.

Anyway, it took me a lot longer to heal than they first told me it would take. And my husband made the comment that Kinley Recovery Time always seems to be twice as long as everyone else.

My first instinct was to say “YOU LIE!” But then he said when I go to the dentist and have completely healthy teeth I can’t eat for the rest of the day and I realized it was true.

I take longer to heal. It’s the same when I get sick.

Guess that goes to show everyone is different and unique and sometimes we have qualities that are inconvenient but life is all about patching over the inconveniences and finding ways to deal.

So that’s my story about the hospital. I want it on record that I maintained my ridiculousness even during trying times.

Kinley Baker (@KinleyBaker)
Kinley Cade (@KinleyCade)


I feel like a space creature at the grocery store

16 Dec

My humor is self-deprecating, right? I never really know how to define my humor. Just that it edges toward wry and most people don’t laugh at it.

But this weekend, I did something ridiculous even for someone who usually blogs about being ridiculous.

I went to the grocery store alone. It has been a while since this has happened. We usually stop on our way home from work or my husband goes.

He is the one who cooks, after all. I’m just the person who microwaves frozen things.

But being at the grocery store made me feel weird. I was awkward and out of place and how do I pick out vegetables again?

Somehow I managed to get organic cabbage instead of lettuce. Rookie mistake. They look the same!

tomato, grocery stores, writing, kinely baker, kinley cade, space creatures, aliens, space, normalcy, weird

The wrong kind of tomato…

It was such a defining moment in my life. I’m standing in my pajamas, in the middle of the store, and the thought suddenly hit me: I feel like another species.

Look at all these people functioning normally. I bet they aren’t intimidated by buying eggs.

When you think about it, eggs are a huge responsibility. What if you get a carton with a broken egg? Surely this is a grave supermarket sin.

Every now and then I have these moments where it hits me. I am not normal. The way I view the world is strange and out of sync with normalcy.

My ways have evolved out of being different and telling other people my quirks leads to pauses and raised brows. Nothing lewd or unseemly (I promise) but simple things like, I never go to the grocery store alone. Or… I don’t drive.

Then I wonder if the world is the way it is because everyone has settled the rules. Perhaps this is the place of comfort. The place of balance.

And if that is so, does that mean normal people don’t sit around contemplating the social construction of society, analyzing the bounds of humanity and what it truly means to live.

If so, sometimes I wonder if I’d rather be normal. I’d rather not feel like an otherworldly creature. It’s disconcerting.

Everyone knows the secret. I’ve always loathed secrets.

Perhaps I will retain a secret, as well. The secret of what it means to be strange.


Kissing Her Scrooge is newly out on December 3, 2013. It’s a contemporary romance holiday novella, so no space creatures. Or characters who feel like space creatures. Although I imagine perhaps each Griff and Hannah have felt misunderstood. You’ll have to read and find out.

Awkward dating scenario for real

23 Sep

I picture my return to blogging like a super awkward after first date phone call. It goes a little like this.

Dater 1: I think I’ll call Dater 2 back. I had a nice time. *picks up phone.* *dials the carefully stored away phone number*


Dater 2: “Hello?”

Dater 1: “Hey, it’s Dater 1.”

Long stretch of silence.

Dater 2: “Oh. Hi.”

Dater 1: They don’t sound happy to hear from me. Maybe they don’t like me. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to a movie on Friday.”

Awkward long stretch of silence.

Dater 2: “Why?”

Dater 1: I have to answer why? “I had a nice time?” That sounded like a question, didn’t it.

Dater 2: *exasperated noise of disgust*

Dater 1: “Didn’t you have a nice time?” Maybe I’m delusional.

Dater 2: “Of course I did!”

Dater 1: “Then what’s the problem?” Maybe Dater 2 is crazy.

Dater 2: “That was two months ago!”

Awkward silence.

Dater 1: “Oh.”

Dater 2: “Oh? All you have to say is ‘oh’?”

Dater 1: “I didn’t realize.”

Dater 2: “You didn’t realize two months went by?”

Dater 1: “No.”

Dater 2: “What were you doing?!”

Dater 1: “I don’t know.”

Dater 2: “#*#&&@^!^!*($((#)#(@*!&”

Dater 1: “Um.”


There’s really no coming back from that, Dater 1.


Dater 1: *hangs up slowly*…*backs away even more slowly*…*wonders if anyone will ever go to the movies with Dater 1 again*

Heart, pink, anniversary, puzzle, love, marriage

I think I cracked my own heart.

Basically, I’m Dater 1. I’m sorry? Oh, I apologized for being away. I totally wrote a blog post wondering if that was necessary once. I feel it’s necessary today.

This is like when my husband asked me if my sink was rattling. I listened for a moment, then said yes. Upon further consideration I told him it had been rattling for a long time. Like perhaps months.

He asked why I didn’t tell him, my Mr. Fix It husband.

Um. It never occurred to me?

Life is like my broken sink. I get caught up in work, books, publishing, family and life. I turn around and it’s been too long.

This is a flaw in my character. One I will work on.

(Disclaimer: This does not apply to deadlines. I’m obsessive about meeting deadlines and obligations. Also anything related to publishing. If I delay there is a reason behind it. This blog post applies to, well, everything else.)

I wasn’t sure how to come back and share my flaw. I’m embarrassed by it. Then I remembered the time I called that one person who told me I hadn’t seen them in two months.

Remarkably, I can’t seem to remember their name…

Anyway, I’m back.

And Dater 2 never called back. I wonder what I did wrong.

Mrs. Fix It

22 May

Most of you know I work as an Administrative Professional because I celebrated Admin Day, and no one really does that unless they’re an admin.

But I also have a superpower that comes in handy for being an admin. I have the ability to accidentally figure things out.

What can I say? It’s a gift.

Also related to this, people don’t find this amusing. One time someone in another department was having a problem and they were obviously frustrated. They asked if I could help, and I said I could probably figure it out accidentally.

They were not amused. I hate when my jokes go over poorly. Lol.

But then I did accidentally figure it out. Don’t ask me how.

I think we’re creating a generation of fixers with our constantly advancing technology. Our brains are learning to click around Word until we figure out Track Changes, or whatever issue we’re facing.

It’s always a little awkward when someone asks me something and I have to say, “Can I go try to figure it out on my computer?”

But everyone wins when things get fixed.

What do you think? Are you a fixer?

This post really got me thinking. I think we undervalue certain skillsets. Do you have a skill that comes in super handy but doesn’t necessarily translate into a career?

I like the idea of a generation of fixers. Let’s teach kids how to problem solve. I think the ability to take something frustrating and solve the issue simply is going to make life a little easier on everyone.

-Kinley Baker

What is dating?

20 May

I have a confession. I’ve never dated. I’ve never been asked out on a date outside the world of high school. I honestly don’t even think I was asked on dates in high school, but maybe I was and someone might happen upon this and call me a liar, so I’m covering my bases.

I’ve never been asked out by a stranger. I hear this happens. Or that people get “hit on”, but the concept is really something I’ve only seen in movies. I hear that being asked out is common. I’ve heard of a lot of people talk about the time that guy hit on them at the bar, or whatever.

Maybe I don’t hang out at the right places. Or there is something about me that throws off major “I’m nuts” vibes. I’m sure my wedding ring doesn’t help things now, but honestly I don’t think anyone has ever thought, “I’m going to ask her out.” And then looked at the ring and thought, “Darn.”

Whatever the reason, it’s just not something I understand, which is fine when I’m living in strange Kinley land, but not fine when I’m trying to write characters who have different experiences than me.

Yesterday I ran into a problem with my new book.

I can’t figure out the dynamics of dating and meeting strangers. I’m completely out of my element, and the whole thing feels awkward to me. So I need your help if you don’t mind.

I’d love to hear about your disaster dates or successful dates. Please help me understand the world of dating. I love hearing about these types of stories.

-Kinley Baker

The problem with protesting too much

26 Apr

As some of you know, Wednesday was Admin Day. Many people visited the blog for the first time because they must have Googled the phrase. My husband’s response was that people were trying to figure out if Admin Day was a real thing.

Oh, burn.

Lol. Basically, every year I get excited about Admin Day. And every year I regret bringing it up. Because people say thank you, and they are very nice, but it inevitably ends up awkward (because of me).

This year I walked into work, and there was a plaque above my desk that said: “World’s Greatest Administrative Professional.”

I did not make that sign.

Do you believe me?

Because I really didn’t make it.

But all day I felt the need to assure people that I was not the person who made this sign.

Which of course made people think I made the sign.

Because who goes out of their way to preemptively warn people about a sign they didn’t make unless they made it (unless you’re me)?

I didn’t make it. You all believe me, right?


Hello? Did you all run away?


For those of you remaining…


Have a nice weekend.

Also, thank you very much to the person who made the sign (because it wasn’t me). It was very thoughtful and kind! You’re awesome.

The sign = awesome. The way I handled it = awkward.

Who’s surprised?


sky, beautiful, kinley baker, author kinley baker, romance author, clouds, blue

It’s sunny around here. Enjoy the day!


Why Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory is my first choice BFF

3 Apr

I love The Big Bang Theory. So much in fact, that I constantly watch reruns and I buy my husband shirts with Jim Parsons’ face on them.

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Big Bang Theory, T-shirts, Amy Farrah Fowler, Comedy, BFFs

Not awkward at all…

I am a fan. I love the show.

More than that, I love Amy. I think she is the most hilarious character on primetime. They’ve really brought her into the group, and she makes me laugh out loud the most.

But sometimes I get a little sad. 😦 Penny and Bernadette don’t always want to hang out with Amy, and although they usually make up for it in the end, it’s pretty clear to the viewer that Amy is not their first choice BFF.

I think this is a tragedy. Amy is awesome.

Beyond her obsession to get them all naked in a bathtub, I think Amy represents something pretty amazing. She’s strange. She’s unconventional. She’s insecure.

She’s a lot of things we don’t see on television, and I find it fascinating that even while she flips her hair and talks about how fashion is kind of her life now, she never loses who she is at the core.

They continue to show her slicing away at brains. While her intellect is occasionally impaired by a rowdy girl’s night out, at the end of the day, she represents a strong woman who comes across as legit.

She’s insecure. As someone also insecure, I appreciate seeing a character like this on television. I love that I can laugh at the strangeness. I can totally relate some of her quirks to my life.

She’s socially awkward. As someone also socially awkward, I enjoy watching her evolve.

We all navigate the murky waters of society. We’re bound to get snagged on a faux pas.

It’s easier to get through the trips when you have strong friends at your back.

I can relate to Amy. I’ve often found myself without friends. It can be a lonely place.

I hope Amy continues to solidify her place in the crowd, so she can show all of us Awkward Social Navigators that we have a chance to belong to a community, too.

I love Penny. And I love Bernadette.

But Amy Farrah Fowler is my first choice BFF.

Being strange is okay. It’s nice to see that message on television.