I picture my return to blogging like a super awkward after first date phone call. It goes a little like this.
Dater 1: I think I’ll call Dater 2 back. I had a nice time. *picks up phone.* *dials the carefully stored away phone number*
Dater 2: “Hello?”
Dater 1: “Hey, it’s Dater 1.”
Long stretch of silence.
Dater 2: “Oh. Hi.”
Dater 1: They don’t sound happy to hear from me. Maybe they don’t like me. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to a movie on Friday.”
Awkward long stretch of silence.
Dater 2: “Why?”
Dater 1: I have to answer why? “I had a nice time?” That sounded like a question, didn’t it.
Dater 2: *exasperated noise of disgust*
Dater 1: “Didn’t you have a nice time?” Maybe I’m delusional.
Dater 2: “Of course I did!”
Dater 1: “Then what’s the problem?” Maybe Dater 2 is crazy.
Dater 2: “That was two months ago!”
Dater 1: “Oh.”
Dater 2: “Oh? All you have to say is ‘oh’?”
Dater 1: “I didn’t realize.”
Dater 2: “You didn’t realize two months went by?”
Dater 1: “No.”
Dater 2: “What were you doing?!”
Dater 1: “I don’t know.”
Dater 2: “#*#&&@^!^!*($((#)#(@*!&”
Dater 1: “Um.”
There’s really no coming back from that, Dater 1.
Dater 1: *hangs up slowly*…*backs away even more slowly*…*wonders if anyone will ever go to the movies with Dater 1 again*
Basically, I’m Dater 1. I’m sorry? Oh, I apologized for being away. I totally wrote a blog post wondering if that was necessary once. I feel it’s necessary today.
This is like when my husband asked me if my sink was rattling. I listened for a moment, then said yes. Upon further consideration I told him it had been rattling for a long time. Like perhaps months.
He asked why I didn’t tell him, my Mr. Fix It husband.
Um. It never occurred to me?
Life is like my broken sink. I get caught up in work, books, publishing, family and life. I turn around and it’s been too long.
This is a flaw in my character. One I will work on.
(Disclaimer: This does not apply to deadlines. I’m obsessive about meeting deadlines and obligations. Also anything related to publishing. If I delay there is a reason behind it. This blog post applies to, well, everything else.)
I wasn’t sure how to come back and share my flaw. I’m embarrassed by it. Then I remembered the time I called that one person who told me I hadn’t seen them in two months.
Remarkably, I can’t seem to remember their name…
Anyway, I’m back.
And Dater 2 never called back. I wonder what I did wrong.