My humor is self-deprecating, right? I never really know how to define my humor. Just that it edges toward wry and most people don’t laugh at it.
But this weekend, I did something ridiculous even for someone who usually blogs about being ridiculous.
I went to the grocery store alone. It has been a while since this has happened. We usually stop on our way home from work or my husband goes.
He is the one who cooks, after all. I’m just the person who microwaves frozen things.
But being at the grocery store made me feel weird. I was awkward and out of place and how do I pick out vegetables again?
Somehow I managed to get organic cabbage instead of lettuce. Rookie mistake. They look the same!
The wrong kind of tomato…
It was such a defining moment in my life. I’m standing in my pajamas, in the middle of the store, and the thought suddenly hit me: I feel like another species.
Look at all these people functioning normally. I bet they aren’t intimidated by buying eggs.
When you think about it, eggs are a huge responsibility. What if you get a carton with a broken egg? Surely this is a grave supermarket sin.
Every now and then I have these moments where it hits me. I am not normal. The way I view the world is strange and out of sync with normalcy.
My ways have evolved out of being different and telling other people my quirks leads to pauses and raised brows. Nothing lewd or unseemly (I promise) but simple things like, I never go to the grocery store alone. Or… I don’t drive.
Then I wonder if the world is the way it is because everyone has settled the rules. Perhaps this is the place of comfort. The place of balance.
And if that is so, does that mean normal people don’t sit around contemplating the social construction of society, analyzing the bounds of humanity and what it truly means to live.
If so, sometimes I wonder if I’d rather be normal. I’d rather not feel like an otherworldly creature. It’s disconcerting.
Everyone knows the secret. I’ve always loathed secrets.
Perhaps I will retain a secret, as well. The secret of what it means to be strange.
Kissing Her Scrooge is newly out on December 3, 2013. It’s a contemporary romance holiday novella, so no space creatures. Or characters who feel like space creatures. Although I imagine perhaps each Griff and Hannah have felt misunderstood. You’ll have to read and find out.