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Five ways my dog copies me and one way I should probably copy him

21 May

My dog’s name is Joker and he is a terrier.

Lately, I’ve noticed that some of my dog’s more unfortunate habits look… familiar.

Habit 1: World weary sighing

My dog sighs like the apocalypse is coming and he’s the only who knows but no one will listen to him spout his wisdom no matter how many times he barks. He sits comfortably… and sighs… for no reason.

This used to annoy me until I realized why he does it. It’s because I sit and randomly sigh at my computer all the time!

I sigh at my manuscripts. I sigh at the ridiculousness I read online. I sigh in frustration.

I sigh and often look at my dog who makes immediate eye contact and I say things like, “I know Joker.” And he sighs with me.

His sighing? My fault.

Habit 2: Whining

Oh the whining! Sometimes he just sits and looks at us and whines. He’s been fed, he has water, we played for an hour, we went for a walk, we bought him a doggie bone castle (that last one is exaggerated), but he still whines.

Let’s just keep it simple and say… my fault, my influence.

Habit 3: Treat dance

You can’t say the word “treat” without Joker going bananas. He can’t handle the word and he barks and leaps. I’m not saying I bark, but… If you say the word “cheesecake” or “pasta” or anything to do with ice cream… you might witness a similar show.

Not often… but often enough for the dog to copy me.

Habit 4: The stare

My dog stares. He sits. He positions himself so his head fits perfectly over say, a leg, or a pillow, an arm rest, and he stares at you. It’s super annoying.

Until I realized I do the same thing to my husband. Sometimes I just stare at him until he asks me why I’m staring. And it’s usually for the same goal as Joker: attention.

Then when Joker and I are asked what we want we both do a casual shrug. “Nothing. Just wanted you to ask.”

Habit 5: The throne of fleece blankets

Joker feels entitled to fleece blankets because my obsession with fleece blankets leads to ridiculousness like this:

blankets, fleece, fleece throne, dog, puppy, terrier

I’m not saying I sit on a similar fleece throne and write my books, but well…

And finally, I noticed a habit Joker has that I don’t.

Joker’s habit: General friendliness

Joker always wants to play with everyone! He barks and jumps and he wants to be the life of the party.

And I… do the opposite. I try to be polite but I don’t tug at the leash to be friendly.

After all the bad habits I gave Joker, I wouldn’t mind taking that one from him. I wish I could express my enthusiasm with such zest.

But I suppose he’s meant to do the barking. And I’ll just stand awkwardly next to him and thank you when you tell me he’s cute (even though I had nothing to do with his cuteness).

Do you share habits with your dog/cat/animal houseguest? I feel like I can’t be the only one.

Kinley Baker
@Kinley Baker

Life is like the worst game of hide-and-seek ever

25 Sep

I am the hider. Reality is the seeker. And reality is a total jerk about winning.

Dog, Puppy, Cute, Hide and seek, puppy hiding

Sorry, Joker. We can still see you…

How the lime green basket my dog hates represents your life

27 Feb

Meet Joker, an almost eleven pound terrier. I once gained street cred in the neighborhood because a five year old informed me Joker was from Batman. He said I was cool.

HELLO, I’M JOKER:

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Joker, Terrier, Dogs, Puppies, Toys, Lime Green Basket

Someone made a mess of these toys…
Wasn’t me.

If you think Joker is cute, don’t be fooled. I’m kidding. He’s awesome, and I love him. He also has some quirks that I think we can all apply to our lives.

Kids in the neighborhood always stop me when I’m walking Joker to say: “Cute dog!”

In which my first thought is: Don’t talk to strangers. Instead, I always say: “Thank you.”

Even though I’m not sure they’re really complimenting me. It feels kind of insincere to accept the praise. I have no real claim to fame for his cuteness except that I buy his toys.

Anyway, Joker has this lime green basket that he really loathes. We use it to put all his toys in so the living room looks cleaner. It’s supposed to look like this:

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Joker, Terrier, Dogs, Puppies, Toys, Lime Green Basket

Organized toys.

It ends up looking like this:

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Joker, Terrier, Dogs, Puppies, Toys, Lime Green Basket

What happens when Joker takes all the toys from the box.

Probably because of this:

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Joker, Terrier, Dogs, Puppies, Toys, Lime Green Basket

Get out! Get out! Get out!
I don’t want any sass, toys.

Whenever we place all his toys in the basket, he cannot handle it. He just can’t. It is the one thing that bothers him above all other things. He hates it.

How do we know he hates it?

Because this always ends up happening:

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Joker, Terrier, Dogs, Puppies, Toys, Lime Green Basket

This is how I roll.

This is literally sixty seconds after I finished putting all the toys in the basket.

You might wonder why we continue to put the toys there. First of all, he makes us laugh. He gets so disgruntled. I’m sorry, but it’s hilarious.

Second is that this is an analogy for the world.

There are always outside forces out of our control.

The basket is that one thing we can’t handle as individuals. It’s something different for all of us.

In life, we are the disgruntled person, fighting for change.

There are things like the lime green box that we can’t handle! The absolute annoyance of this one specific thing gets under our skin.

We seriously cannot deal.

If my dog could talk, I swear he’d yell: “I hate you, you stupid green basket!”

Yet, we must learn to deal with frustrations at every level.

I thought the basket was a good example of how life works.

Although now I’m thinking I should take the stupid basket away, because I’ve equated my dog to a freedom fighter and I am the force standing in his way.

*Feels like a horrible person*

Lol. Another good example of how life works. We can never win.

What do you think about equating this basket to your problems?

How many of us want to do a little yelling of our own? Let’s just curse the green basket. Then we’re the only ones who know who we’re really thinking about. 😉

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Joker, Terrier, Dogs, Puppies, Toys, Lime Green Basket

Leave them here and frolic off into the sunset. Seriously, do it.

I won’t tell. Your secret is between you and that frustrating, impossible, annoying, stupid, lime green box (whatever it is!).

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)