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The moment my husband made my life and SYTYCD

8 Aug
First Position, Dancing, Shoes, High Heels, Ballet Flats, Romance Author, Kinley Baker

My dance move.

Some of you might think my husband made my life on those key pivotal days like the day we decided marriage was a good idea or the day we actually pledged ‘til death do us part, but that is not the case.

The actual day my husband made my life was yesterday and it was has everything to do with So You Think You Can Dance.

This is my first season viewing and I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life until now! I am so obsessed it is ridiculous. It is the single show I watch in real time and I’m actually looking forward to Wednesday as a day of the week, which never happens!

Last night we were watching and my husband said *deadpan* “I don’t think he’s making the train.”

Then I erupted into hysterical laughter because he doesn’t even watch the show! He shouldn’t even know what the train is…

Yet, he does and he watched Ricky’s performance and he was not sure he’d make the train.

But then all the other judges went with their feedback and they all LOVED and he said again *deadpan* “Maybe he will make the train.”

This is exactly why I write romance. He totally made my life with this comment. It doesn’t make any sense but it happened.

I want all of you to be surrounded by people who make your life!!! I want all of you to love and be loved and succeed and have gold flaked ice cream.

This is from my most optimistic heart but it’s still true.

I want everyone to be happy and weather the storms. I want to write stories that are flickering lights in the darkness because if you haven’t noticed, life really sucks sometimes.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I blog. That’s why I write.

Find the people who make your life, and never let them go. Unless they want you to… I’m not condoning stalking.

The blog ends here, but can I just say I’m cheating on Ricky with Casey?!?!?! Casey is underrated and AMAZING.

I’m more likely to leave my husband for Jessica, but I have massive crushes on Casey and Ricky. And this is from someone who does not crush celebrities.

Kinley Baker (@KinleyBaker)
Kinley Cade (@KinleyCade)

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Five ways my dog copies me and one way I should probably copy him

21 May

My dog’s name is Joker and he is a terrier.

Lately, I’ve noticed that some of my dog’s more unfortunate habits look… familiar.

Habit 1: World weary sighing

My dog sighs like the apocalypse is coming and he’s the only who knows but no one will listen to him spout his wisdom no matter how many times he barks. He sits comfortably… and sighs… for no reason.

This used to annoy me until I realized why he does it. It’s because I sit and randomly sigh at my computer all the time!

I sigh at my manuscripts. I sigh at the ridiculousness I read online. I sigh in frustration.

I sigh and often look at my dog who makes immediate eye contact and I say things like, “I know Joker.” And he sighs with me.

His sighing? My fault.

Habit 2: Whining

Oh the whining! Sometimes he just sits and looks at us and whines. He’s been fed, he has water, we played for an hour, we went for a walk, we bought him a doggie bone castle (that last one is exaggerated), but he still whines.

Let’s just keep it simple and say… my fault, my influence.

Habit 3: Treat dance

You can’t say the word “treat” without Joker going bananas. He can’t handle the word and he barks and leaps. I’m not saying I bark, but… If you say the word “cheesecake” or “pasta” or anything to do with ice cream… you might witness a similar show.

Not often… but often enough for the dog to copy me.

Habit 4: The stare

My dog stares. He sits. He positions himself so his head fits perfectly over say, a leg, or a pillow, an arm rest, and he stares at you. It’s super annoying.

Until I realized I do the same thing to my husband. Sometimes I just stare at him until he asks me why I’m staring. And it’s usually for the same goal as Joker: attention.

Then when Joker and I are asked what we want we both do a casual shrug. “Nothing. Just wanted you to ask.”

Habit 5: The throne of fleece blankets

Joker feels entitled to fleece blankets because my obsession with fleece blankets leads to ridiculousness like this:

blankets, fleece, fleece throne, dog, puppy, terrier

I’m not saying I sit on a similar fleece throne and write my books, but well…

And finally, I noticed a habit Joker has that I don’t.

Joker’s habit: General friendliness

Joker always wants to play with everyone! He barks and jumps and he wants to be the life of the party.

And I… do the opposite. I try to be polite but I don’t tug at the leash to be friendly.

After all the bad habits I gave Joker, I wouldn’t mind taking that one from him. I wish I could express my enthusiasm with such zest.

But I suppose he’s meant to do the barking. And I’ll just stand awkwardly next to him and thank you when you tell me he’s cute (even though I had nothing to do with his cuteness).

Do you share habits with your dog/cat/animal houseguest? I feel like I can’t be the only one.

Kinley Baker
@Kinley Baker

I feel like a space creature at the grocery store

16 Dec

My humor is self-deprecating, right? I never really know how to define my humor. Just that it edges toward wry and most people don’t laugh at it.

But this weekend, I did something ridiculous even for someone who usually blogs about being ridiculous.

I went to the grocery store alone. It has been a while since this has happened. We usually stop on our way home from work or my husband goes.

He is the one who cooks, after all. I’m just the person who microwaves frozen things.

But being at the grocery store made me feel weird. I was awkward and out of place and how do I pick out vegetables again?

Somehow I managed to get organic cabbage instead of lettuce. Rookie mistake. They look the same!

tomato, grocery stores, writing, kinely baker, kinley cade, space creatures, aliens, space, normalcy, weird

The wrong kind of tomato…

It was such a defining moment in my life. I’m standing in my pajamas, in the middle of the store, and the thought suddenly hit me: I feel like another species.

Look at all these people functioning normally. I bet they aren’t intimidated by buying eggs.

When you think about it, eggs are a huge responsibility. What if you get a carton with a broken egg? Surely this is a grave supermarket sin.

Every now and then I have these moments where it hits me. I am not normal. The way I view the world is strange and out of sync with normalcy.

My ways have evolved out of being different and telling other people my quirks leads to pauses and raised brows. Nothing lewd or unseemly (I promise) but simple things like, I never go to the grocery store alone. Or… I don’t drive.

Then I wonder if the world is the way it is because everyone has settled the rules. Perhaps this is the place of comfort. The place of balance.

And if that is so, does that mean normal people don’t sit around contemplating the social construction of society, analyzing the bounds of humanity and what it truly means to live.

If so, sometimes I wonder if I’d rather be normal. I’d rather not feel like an otherworldly creature. It’s disconcerting.

Everyone knows the secret. I’ve always loathed secrets.

Perhaps I will retain a secret, as well. The secret of what it means to be strange.

***

Kissing Her Scrooge is newly out on December 3, 2013. It’s a contemporary romance holiday novella, so no space creatures. Or characters who feel like space creatures. Although I imagine perhaps each Griff and Hannah have felt misunderstood. You’ll have to read and find out.

Ten things I might do simply because I’m an author

22 Nov

1.) I stare. I stare too long to the point people get uncomfortable and/or they think I’m coming on to them. I’m not coming on to you, I just stare. I stare. I think of world problems. Then I write books about them.

2.) If I know you in real life there’s a good chance I’ve already plotted how to ruin your life. Not because I’m a bad person. Not because I want your life to be ruined. But because I ruin character’s lives for a living. Just remember. I know how.

3.) I cry at allegories because they’re so good. Probably no explanation for that one, it’s just weird.

4.) I assume I have the ability to delete people. Like, you there, sir, annoying person? I don’t like you. I delete you. From reality. It has yet to work.

5.) I think I have the ability to rewrite everything. If I don’t like a real life scene, I’m thinking backspace, for sure. When I tell everyone to stop and start over again, people look at me strangely. I just yell, bend to my will!

6.) Point of views are living, breathing things that have feelings and I must consider them all. I usually understand them, then I see the other side and I agree even though I don’t want to. I don’t like it. It just makes me the person who can’t pick a side. A constant stander on the fence. Who just stands on fences all day? Not even cowboys. Get it, because they mend fences?

7.) I tell jokes that aren’t funny because I think they’re clever. Then no one laughs.

8.) I’m a user. I use everyone for material, even if I don’t mean to. Even the guy who asked me if I could look in his ear to see if it was infected—no I’m not a doctor. No, I didn’t look. This showed up in a story and if that can, anything can. You’ve been warned.

9.) Sometimes I imagine how a conversation will go and where I want it to end. Then I do my best to chart the course to get there. Like a pirate.

10.) Sometimes I really think I’m a pirate. Or a vampire. Or a kick-ass spy. Anything much, much cooler than I am because when your characters are eighty times cooler than you, why wouldn’t you want to be them?

And lastly, here’s an extra one.

11.) Because of all these things, and being an author, I almost feel like I need to warn people about me. Like hey, I do these things. These very bad things. I’ve been a bad girl… But then people will think I’m coming on to them again.

This person sounds terrifying. You probably don’t want to be that girl’s friend.

She stares. She cries. She knows.

But you can’t say she didn’t warn.

She also promotes cool things motivated by self-interest. And contests. Look at this amazing map Kat Latham created:

http://wp.me/P2aPjY-1g4

Join in the fun!

Kinley Baker/Kinley Cade

When I thought someone was dumb and I acted dumber

13 Nov

I recently realized it’s very easy to feel morally superior when you run into someone doing something really dumb.

In your head, it’s like. Oh my gosh. Look at that person. They are making a fooool of themselves. Yes, they are.

Dang. Look at all these people staring.

What. A. Loser.

Of course I didn’t say any of this out loud, so I’m still a decent person, right? Right?!

I guess I’m not afraid to admit that while I would never say anything specific to the person, or about it to anyone except for my husband and maybe my mother, I did think these things.

I was in a place and I made these judgments.

Then, later on, I did something equally dumb. Probably dumber.

You realize you are that person. The one everyone is staring at and calling an idiot.

Suddenly you start to feel bad.

Wow. I was really mean to that person in my head the other day. And look at me? It’s lonely when you’re making an epic jerk of yourself.

It’s important for me to remember this. If I think someone is doing something stupid. I better be nice to them, even in my head!

Because it will happen to me. Most of us do the best we can.

We still fight our human natures. We’re programmed to do dumb things.

If we can just give everyone a little breathing room when we’re making perfectly excellent decisions, the world might be a little less negative.

My father always tells me he’s proud of me. I always respond back, “Hey now. Slow down. There’s still plenty of time to make you un-proud.”

We’re going to make mistakes and have regrets. All we can do is the best we can.

Some of you will do better than others and I will be jealous.

Because I’m a pro at dwelling on mistakes.

And even though this post makes me a very flawed person, if you haven’t heard I’ll be writing contemporary romance as Kinley Cade. So if you don’t mind following me at http://www.twitter.com/kinleycade or liking at http://www.facebook.com/authorkinleycade, I’ll be your friend.

I had a dream about meeting Harry Potter and it was ridiculous

23 Oct

I’m relatively low key. I believe. I mean I have my moments. But I tend to sit back. I’m a little reserved. Saying hello first pushes me outside my comfort zone.

I try to be friendly, and I like meeting new people, but I’m not particularly known for my exuberance.

Until I had a dream about meeting Harry Potter.

In general, I get kind of embarrassed at loud displays in public. So most people would think if I met Daniel Radcliffe in real life, I would be chill about it.

That is not the case according to my dream.

In my dream the exact way I greeted him was:

HARRR-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGWOWOMGWOWOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN.

HOW ARE RON AND HERMOINE?!?!?!?!

I spilled all over him with fandom froth and it was perfectly clear that while he was used to exuberant fans, I was definitely the most exuberant, ridiculous example of fandom.

And it’s all happening years after the last movie came out, when the excitement had calmed down a little.

I for sure took him by surprise.

I even apologized about Snape. Seriously.

Harry Potter, Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Snape Wand

Snape’s wand.

I’m embarrassed that I even dreamed this. It is SO out of character.

I mean, I want to meet Harry/Daniel, but now I’m thinking if I ever get the opportunity, maybe I should just… not meet him.

I don’t really want to take the risk that this is how I’ll react. Can you imagine that video going viral?

Every time anyone sees me they’ll just shout: HARRR-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Introducing my peeps

21 Oct
Fairytales, Romance Author, Kinley Baker, Princess, Knight, Dragon, Unicorn, Wizard

Please meet (in order from left to right): Frank, Mary, John, Forge, Cal, and Uri.

I’m just kidding. They don’t have names. Although Uri the Unicorn is going in a story. It’s just happening.

Over the weekend I attended the Emerald City Writers’ Conference and it was SO FUN. It’s probably the best conference I’ve attended. I met several people I’ve been talking to for years online. I never had the pleasure of meeting them in person before.

Maya Banks, Robyn Carr, and Karen Rose were all amazing speakers.

I also realized many unpublished friends I’ve met over the past four years at ECWC are now published. Fantastic!

And I signed at the book fair. My peeps (Frank, Mary, John, Forge, Cal, and Uri) even hung out. Because that’s how I roll.

Book Signing, kinley baker, author, romance author

I’ll have free fairytale finger puppets available next signing (stay tuned for info).

Thank you all for being so nice to me. You rock! It’s as simple as that. 😉