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He’s such a romantic.

10 Apr

The other day in the car I was telling my husband about how I received a request for my contemporary friends-to-lovers story, and how it was awesome.

His response was his usual that is lame face. Apparently the friends-to-lovers phrasing is not to his liking.

(I will forever call him lover now. Just kidding. I can’t pull that off. I wish.)

I guess I should preface this conversation by saying I have always viewed our relationship in real life as a friends-to-lovers tale. Apparently, I am alone in this assessment.

I said: “Hey, our story is a friends-to-lovers story.”

Of course I must defend this trope, because it’s what brought us together, right?

Wrong.

His response: “More like… enemies to kind of okay to whatever.”

He’s such a romantic. And talk about the next romantic trope to hit the big time. I call dibs!

Rose, Flower, Kinley Baker, Author, Romance Author, Romance

A rose my husband did not give me.

Then later I explained I was writing this post, and I was laughing. He wasn’t amused.

I said: “Come on, this is hilarious.”

His response: “I know. I said it.”

Psh.

Such a romantic. And so humble.

The funniest part is that I don’t remember being enemies at all. I’m pretty sure he just thought I was super annoying and hated me for it.

Which is proof that I grow on people! So if you’re unsure about this blog, have no fear. You’ll go through the phases… severely dislikes to kind of indifferent to regular reader.

Buahaha.

This is how annoying people take over the world.

Also, to be fair (since my conscience always insists on this, no matter how inconvenient), here is a post that shows my husband can be romantic. When you realize you’re a thoughtless jerk. He won at Valentine’s Day.

-Kin

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Who makes the sandwiches in your family?

5 Apr

Sometimes love is simple and it comes down to sandwiches.

Yesterday, I bit into the sandwich my husband made me at lunchtime and discovered there were jalapenos on it. Is your reaction to that information negative?

Because I thought it was awesome. It just so happened that I seriously needed some jalapenos on my sandwich. And I realized love can be simple. And sometimes it comes down to sandwiches.

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Bread, Who makes the sandwiches in your family

Then I started writing this blog post in my head, and it took another direction.

My husband makes the sandwiches in this family. This might be different than other families. I like to think my husband and I explode gender dynamics like BOOOM. But maybe that’s giving us too much credit.

Also, if my husband reads this blog, there’s a good chance he’ll go on a sandwich strike (so it’s a good thing he doesn’t read my blog). This has happened before when I’ve brought up nice things that he does. Sometimes he views this as bragging, and he revokes the privilege.

My husband likes to do nice things. But he doesn’t like to be confronted about them. Lol.

Happy Friday. Enjoy your weekend. Eat a sandwich.

And hey, whoever makes the sandwiches in your family, fly that flag high and proud.

-Kin

When your husband doesn’t understand you’re a sincere person

1 Mar

Okay, I know my faults. I’m very reflective, and I dwell on my shortcomings. I’m antisocial and struggle to relate to people on non-awkward levels. (Small Talk should be banned worldwide, am I right?) I could go on and on and often do in my mind.

Despite all my horrible attributes which I’m sure plague the universe (Not really. That’s giving myself way too much credit.), I have one saving grace.

If there is one thing I am, it’s SINCERE. To a disastrous degree.

My husband does not understand this. He thinks I’m some mad scientist with experiments that I probably don’t have the brainpower to conceive of or to manipulate.

He is a master manipulator. I swear. He pretends he has a job, but I think he sits up in his evil villain tower and plots. If you’ve never been manipulated by my husband, you don’t understand his stealth. He is tricky. One minute I didn’t want to get married, and then BAM. It was happening.

Which is really more a joke on him. When he decided this relationship was a good idea, he had no idea how far the strange train stretched.

Choo Choo. All aboard!

He doesn’t understand that when I say things, or think things, or feel things, it is ALWAYS sincere.

The problem is that I also tend to flake out when it comes to reality. I hate going places, and doing things. I’m lazy. Not when it comes to writing, because I can do that from the comfort of my couch, but when it comes to everything else.

I’m lazy, awkward, and a social misfit. Do you see how this is all a bad combination?

When I plan things, I really do want to see my best friend from college. When it comes to actually driving to get there…

Oh yeah, did I mention I hate driving? Like seriously have a fear of driving. OH, and also, I hate being in cars in general. This drives my husband insane. I’ve tried to change my habits, but I just can’t.

When he complains, it’s like, dude… I’m stuck on this train. You bought a ticket.

My sympathy dries up as the years and tracks continue.

None of that changes the fact that I’m sincere.

For the record, I did manage to go to lunch recently with my friend from college, Mara, who is currently out traveling the world. So I’m not the worst thing since sliced bread. Not that anyone is insulting bread.

I ventured out into reality. I survived. I thrived. I felt like a real girl, and I’m probably related to Pinocchio.

I wish my husband understood that I’m not a mad scientist, despite all my desires to the contrary. I really am just an average person, struggling through life. I have good intentions, but we all know how easily those get lost.

Maybe when we commit our life to someone, they see all the levels of us, and they can’t quite believe the simplest truths. They relate your words to this case or that thing, and not everything adds up. So they assume it’s all a big cluster.

Which it is, because that’s life. We are a mass of contradictions. I’m working on a post I hope to get out there soon. It’s about embracing contradictions and allowing us to live our lives without judgment.

Whatever your beliefs, whoever you think created the world, don’t you think they had a wicked sense of humor? They had to have. They made people like us.

I’m thankful though. As the days pass and I realize all the horrible things about myself, I also slowly begin to accept. It doesn’t matter that I fear zombies, or that I think an alien invasion is inevitable.

I’m also sincere. I care about people and I care about the world. I want less people to hurt and more people to love. There’s value there.

If you have to shift through all the other junk just to get to there, I’ll help you wade through the garbage. Virtually, because we’ve already discussed that I’m a flake in real life.

This also frustrates my husband because he thinks if I care about people I should be out there with my shovel.

My goals are more to offer comfort from right here.

That’s why I write romance. To make others feel, and love, and hurt, but then to tend their wounds and assure them everything will be okay.

Everything will be okay. I believe that. Sincerely. We can’t let the world take away our sincerity, because then we’ll never get it back.

Keep dancing to your own tune, and enjoy your weekend, or what I like to call THE SLEEP IN REVOLUTION.

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

When you realize you’re a thoughtless jerk

18 Feb

I can be a huge thoughtless jerk.

Take Valentine’s Day, for example. My husband and I didn’t spend money on presents. I knew that going in.

Even without a budget, my husband totally rocked out the day.

He was so dang thoughtful. He does this. And he’s sneaky about it! Sometimes I’m so unobservant, I don’t even notice for a while, and then all the nice things he does adds up to a gigantic mountain of awesome.

It’s probably one of the best things about him.

So on Valentine’s Day, he brought home TWO types of dark chocolate (my favorite) and pizza (my favorite). He brought out board games to play (my favorite) AND he put on Harry Potter (do I even have to say my favorite?). The sixth movie! The one with a lot of humor.

Then we started… A PUZZLE (*insert warm and fuzzy memories from childhood*).

I could not have wished for a more perfect day. And what did I do for him?!

NOTHING.

I am a thoughtless jerk. There’s nothing worse than being thoughtless.

The next day, I had to fix the situation.

No longer would I be the jerk who doesn’t do anything nice and forgets anniversaries.

I wanted to buy him a present, but that’s breaking the rules. I should be able to be thoughtful and not spend money.

Well, while we were doing the puzzle, he mentioned it would be cool to do a blank/white puzzle.

Perfect! So what did I do?

*Drum roll, please!*

puzzle, puzzle pieces, Valentine's Day, Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Love, Thoughtfulness, Being thoughtful

I made him a puzzle.

And he called it THOUGHTFUL.

Yessssss…

I’m no longer a jerk. *fist pump* At least, I’m not a jerk today.

Men get a bad rap for forgetting anniversaries and birthdays, but really, I think they’re just more subtle about it. We don’t give them enough credit.

I know what I’ll do going forward. Appreciate my life partner and shower him with affection. His response will be to roll his eyes.

LOL.

Men.

Have you ever thought to yourself, I’m a gigantic jerk? I think being able to admit when we fall short is pretty nifty (I really wanted to work nifty into a blog post, AND I DID).

On a completely unrelated note, do you want to know what’s really hard to make from scratch?

PUZZLES.

They’re puzzling.

*snickers*

I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. Bad joke. That was a bad joke.

This day is full of win. GO! Frolic off into the sunset. Do something nice for a loved one.

I know I will spend more time thinking about others in the future. I get so caught up in the small things, I forget to show those I love that they mean everything to me.

What are little things you do to show your family you appreciate them?

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)

Love Everyday: Thorns, Leaves, and Petals.

15 Feb

Love, Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Rose, Love Everyday, Thorns, Leaves, Petals