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I want to write my cousin a rap song for his wedding

1 Jul

You know when you go to a luau and you drink too much of the special drink and an idea comes up and you think it’s probably the best idea anyone has ever had in the history of the world?

No? Well, let’s say you do. And let’s say you’re going to rap with your uncle at your cousin’s wedding reception because there’s never been a better idea ever in the history of the universe.

But then at the next family function, where there is no special drink, your aunt tells you, you should write the rap song. Because you are a writer.

Even though you don’t write rap songs. Have never written a rap song, except when you and your friends rapped out voicemail messages in middle school because you were losers who thought you were cool.

But then the idea started to really take hold.

I thought this might be something fun I could share with my cousin and his new bride. Things were positive in my head until I told the idea to my husband. His reaction started to make me realize, maybe this isn’t a good idea. Maybe this is indeed the worst idea in the history of the universe.

What if it’s not good because you can’t rap? Your uncle is good at rapping. He might be able to carry you if you write the song.

That sinking feeling is totally hitting now. I am going to ruin my cousin’s wedding reception! But to be fair, it’s not their only reception. They’re getting married destination style, so this is their local celebration. So I’m probably only going to ruin 50% of his wedding.

But it might not ruin it! It might be funny because my uncle and I have always given this cousin a lot of crap.

It could be brilliant. It could be a disaster. This is not my day, and I don’t want to ruin it. But our family celebrates everything with a song. Seriously. My dad writes songs for everything.

And I’m pretty sure through my haze of special juice that my cousin also thought this was a good idea. I actually think it’s coming back now and my cousin sent a reminder to my uncle to remember to practice the rap.

So this article kind of started with you all thinking, oh no, please tell me she didn’t. To, wow, so that’s her family. Puzzle pieces are forming now for you all.

Are we pro or con the rap? And if you’re pro, I need ideas on the beat. What would be a good song to use that’s relatively low pitched? I can’t hit notes at all, but I especially can’t hit high notes. Lol. Are you changing your vote to con now?

(And E if you’re reading this, I promise not to rap at your wedding if you decide to tie the knot. Unless you would like me to, of course. If I were you, I’d wait for this to play out and then decide.)

Kinley Baker