Everyone has a fatal flaw. Some people hide theirs better than others but I think inside everyone is a flaw that will be their downfall if they don’t manage to combat against it.
Mine is insecurity. I have a really tough time keeping the faith, so sometimes I look to other people to supply it.
That’s what insecure people do, right? They seek acceptance and praise is some vague attempt to make up for the fact they don’t believe in themselves.
Well, maybe not all insecure people. But me, for sure.
I see this in myself and I constantly seek something intangible to supplement the lack of whatever barrier I need inside me to prevent the world from seeping into my confidence.
But the world seeps.
People lose faith.
I don’t blame people for losing faith because it’s a natural element of the human condition. The Bible is full of people who win not just for the sake of winning. The Bible is full of stories of people who struggle.
We wouldn’t need faith without struggle.
There really can be no ups without the downs. If people lived in the up all the time, we would live in a world like The Giver.
We’re given the opportunity to choose, and sometimes we choose wrongly.
So I don’t blame people for losing faith. When they look at the puzzle all they see are the pieces. Pieces we’ve chosen to share, or accidentally revealed, or put in a book and published before we realized exactly how much we were showing.
People see puzzle pieces and that piece either fits into their world, or it doesn’t. And it’s that simple sometimes. It makes sense it would be this way because we can’t personally invest in everyone.
I’ve accepted it is inevitable that everyone will lose faith, at one time or another.
My job and mission and responsibility is to not lose faith in myself.
Things bind us with faith like love, devotion, loyalty, honor. These ties help stabilize us in a world full of chaos.
But if everything drops away, we have to have faith in ourselves.
I have to have faith in me. Because when everyone else looks at the pieces and then looks away, I am still here.
This is my life and this is my point of view, unlikable heroine that I often view myself as and all.
The only thing I can choose, beyond the obvious of who I spend time with, what I do for an occupation, where I live, etc.?
I can choose to have faith in myself or not. I can choose to build my own wall of protection instead of depending on an unreliable contractor or not.
Either way, people will lose faith.
And then sometimes… truly remarkable people believe. They stay when others leave. They support you when you’re wondering if you even support yourself.
They are rocks and gifts and they can make you laugh when all you really want to do is cry… or yell.
Because most people will lose faith, these people are the treasurers that pirates seek, the thing in the world worth their weight in value.
Thank you to those people in my life who stay when they could go, believe when the dream is invisible, and love when it would be much easier to walk away.
Kinley Baker @KinleyBaker
Kinley Cade @KinleyCade