Tag Archives: Laughter

The moment my husband made my life and SYTYCD

8 Aug
First Position, Dancing, Shoes, High Heels, Ballet Flats, Romance Author, Kinley Baker

My dance move.

Some of you might think my husband made my life on those key pivotal days like the day we decided marriage was a good idea or the day we actually pledged ‘til death do us part, but that is not the case.

The actual day my husband made my life was yesterday and it was has everything to do with So You Think You Can Dance.

This is my first season viewing and I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life until now! I am so obsessed it is ridiculous. It is the single show I watch in real time and I’m actually looking forward to Wednesday as a day of the week, which never happens!

Last night we were watching and my husband said *deadpan* “I don’t think he’s making the train.”

Then I erupted into hysterical laughter because he doesn’t even watch the show! He shouldn’t even know what the train is…

Yet, he does and he watched Ricky’s performance and he was not sure he’d make the train.

But then all the other judges went with their feedback and they all LOVED and he said again *deadpan* “Maybe he will make the train.”

This is exactly why I write romance. He totally made my life with this comment. It doesn’t make any sense but it happened.

I want all of you to be surrounded by people who make your life!!! I want all of you to love and be loved and succeed and have gold flaked ice cream.

This is from my most optimistic heart but it’s still true.

I want everyone to be happy and weather the storms. I want to write stories that are flickering lights in the darkness because if you haven’t noticed, life really sucks sometimes.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I blog. That’s why I write.

Find the people who make your life, and never let them go. Unless they want you to… I’m not condoning stalking.

The blog ends here, but can I just say I’m cheating on Ricky with Casey?!?!?! Casey is underrated and AMAZING.

I’m more likely to leave my husband for Jessica, but I have massive crushes on Casey and Ricky. And this is from someone who does not crush celebrities.

Kinley Baker (@KinleyBaker)
Kinley Cade (@KinleyCade)

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Five ways my dog copies me and one way I should probably copy him

21 May

My dog’s name is Joker and he is a terrier.

Lately, I’ve noticed that some of my dog’s more unfortunate habits look… familiar.

Habit 1: World weary sighing

My dog sighs like the apocalypse is coming and he’s the only who knows but no one will listen to him spout his wisdom no matter how many times he barks. He sits comfortably… and sighs… for no reason.

This used to annoy me until I realized why he does it. It’s because I sit and randomly sigh at my computer all the time!

I sigh at my manuscripts. I sigh at the ridiculousness I read online. I sigh in frustration.

I sigh and often look at my dog who makes immediate eye contact and I say things like, “I know Joker.” And he sighs with me.

His sighing? My fault.

Habit 2: Whining

Oh the whining! Sometimes he just sits and looks at us and whines. He’s been fed, he has water, we played for an hour, we went for a walk, we bought him a doggie bone castle (that last one is exaggerated), but he still whines.

Let’s just keep it simple and say… my fault, my influence.

Habit 3: Treat dance

You can’t say the word “treat” without Joker going bananas. He can’t handle the word and he barks and leaps. I’m not saying I bark, but… If you say the word “cheesecake” or “pasta” or anything to do with ice cream… you might witness a similar show.

Not often… but often enough for the dog to copy me.

Habit 4: The stare

My dog stares. He sits. He positions himself so his head fits perfectly over say, a leg, or a pillow, an arm rest, and he stares at you. It’s super annoying.

Until I realized I do the same thing to my husband. Sometimes I just stare at him until he asks me why I’m staring. And it’s usually for the same goal as Joker: attention.

Then when Joker and I are asked what we want we both do a casual shrug. “Nothing. Just wanted you to ask.”

Habit 5: The throne of fleece blankets

Joker feels entitled to fleece blankets because my obsession with fleece blankets leads to ridiculousness like this:

blankets, fleece, fleece throne, dog, puppy, terrier

I’m not saying I sit on a similar fleece throne and write my books, but well…

And finally, I noticed a habit Joker has that I don’t.

Joker’s habit: General friendliness

Joker always wants to play with everyone! He barks and jumps and he wants to be the life of the party.

And I… do the opposite. I try to be polite but I don’t tug at the leash to be friendly.

After all the bad habits I gave Joker, I wouldn’t mind taking that one from him. I wish I could express my enthusiasm with such zest.

But I suppose he’s meant to do the barking. And I’ll just stand awkwardly next to him and thank you when you tell me he’s cute (even though I had nothing to do with his cuteness).

Do you share habits with your dog/cat/animal houseguest? I feel like I can’t be the only one.

Kinley Baker
@Kinley Baker

Ten things I might do simply because I’m an author

22 Nov

1.) I stare. I stare too long to the point people get uncomfortable and/or they think I’m coming on to them. I’m not coming on to you, I just stare. I stare. I think of world problems. Then I write books about them.

2.) If I know you in real life there’s a good chance I’ve already plotted how to ruin your life. Not because I’m a bad person. Not because I want your life to be ruined. But because I ruin character’s lives for a living. Just remember. I know how.

3.) I cry at allegories because they’re so good. Probably no explanation for that one, it’s just weird.

4.) I assume I have the ability to delete people. Like, you there, sir, annoying person? I don’t like you. I delete you. From reality. It has yet to work.

5.) I think I have the ability to rewrite everything. If I don’t like a real life scene, I’m thinking backspace, for sure. When I tell everyone to stop and start over again, people look at me strangely. I just yell, bend to my will!

6.) Point of views are living, breathing things that have feelings and I must consider them all. I usually understand them, then I see the other side and I agree even though I don’t want to. I don’t like it. It just makes me the person who can’t pick a side. A constant stander on the fence. Who just stands on fences all day? Not even cowboys. Get it, because they mend fences?

7.) I tell jokes that aren’t funny because I think they’re clever. Then no one laughs.

8.) I’m a user. I use everyone for material, even if I don’t mean to. Even the guy who asked me if I could look in his ear to see if it was infected—no I’m not a doctor. No, I didn’t look. This showed up in a story and if that can, anything can. You’ve been warned.

9.) Sometimes I imagine how a conversation will go and where I want it to end. Then I do my best to chart the course to get there. Like a pirate.

10.) Sometimes I really think I’m a pirate. Or a vampire. Or a kick-ass spy. Anything much, much cooler than I am because when your characters are eighty times cooler than you, why wouldn’t you want to be them?

And lastly, here’s an extra one.

11.) Because of all these things, and being an author, I almost feel like I need to warn people about me. Like hey, I do these things. These very bad things. I’ve been a bad girl… But then people will think I’m coming on to them again.

This person sounds terrifying. You probably don’t want to be that girl’s friend.

She stares. She cries. She knows.

But you can’t say she didn’t warn.

She also promotes cool things motivated by self-interest. And contests. Look at this amazing map Kat Latham created:

http://wp.me/P2aPjY-1g4

Join in the fun!

Kinley Baker/Kinley Cade

When I thought someone was dumb and I acted dumber

13 Nov

I recently realized it’s very easy to feel morally superior when you run into someone doing something really dumb.

In your head, it’s like. Oh my gosh. Look at that person. They are making a fooool of themselves. Yes, they are.

Dang. Look at all these people staring.

What. A. Loser.

Of course I didn’t say any of this out loud, so I’m still a decent person, right? Right?!

I guess I’m not afraid to admit that while I would never say anything specific to the person, or about it to anyone except for my husband and maybe my mother, I did think these things.

I was in a place and I made these judgments.

Then, later on, I did something equally dumb. Probably dumber.

You realize you are that person. The one everyone is staring at and calling an idiot.

Suddenly you start to feel bad.

Wow. I was really mean to that person in my head the other day. And look at me? It’s lonely when you’re making an epic jerk of yourself.

It’s important for me to remember this. If I think someone is doing something stupid. I better be nice to them, even in my head!

Because it will happen to me. Most of us do the best we can.

We still fight our human natures. We’re programmed to do dumb things.

If we can just give everyone a little breathing room when we’re making perfectly excellent decisions, the world might be a little less negative.

My father always tells me he’s proud of me. I always respond back, “Hey now. Slow down. There’s still plenty of time to make you un-proud.”

We’re going to make mistakes and have regrets. All we can do is the best we can.

Some of you will do better than others and I will be jealous.

Because I’m a pro at dwelling on mistakes.

And even though this post makes me a very flawed person, if you haven’t heard I’ll be writing contemporary romance as Kinley Cade. So if you don’t mind following me at http://www.twitter.com/kinleycade or liking at http://www.facebook.com/authorkinleycade, I’ll be your friend.

Awkward dating scenario for real

23 Sep

I picture my return to blogging like a super awkward after first date phone call. It goes a little like this.

Dater 1: I think I’ll call Dater 2 back. I had a nice time. *picks up phone.* *dials the carefully stored away phone number*

ring…ring…

Dater 2: “Hello?”

Dater 1: “Hey, it’s Dater 1.”

Long stretch of silence.

Dater 2: “Oh. Hi.”

Dater 1: They don’t sound happy to hear from me. Maybe they don’t like me. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to a movie on Friday.”

Awkward long stretch of silence.

Dater 2: “Why?”

Dater 1: I have to answer why? “I had a nice time?” That sounded like a question, didn’t it.

Dater 2: *exasperated noise of disgust*

Dater 1: “Didn’t you have a nice time?” Maybe I’m delusional.

Dater 2: “Of course I did!”

Dater 1: “Then what’s the problem?” Maybe Dater 2 is crazy.

Dater 2: “That was two months ago!”

Awkward silence.

Dater 1: “Oh.”

Dater 2: “Oh? All you have to say is ‘oh’?”

Dater 1: “I didn’t realize.”

Dater 2: “You didn’t realize two months went by?”

Dater 1: “No.”

Dater 2: “What were you doing?!”

Dater 1: “I don’t know.”

Dater 2: “#*#&&@^!^!*($((#)#(@*!&”

Dater 1: “Um.”

 

There’s really no coming back from that, Dater 1.

 

Dater 1: *hangs up slowly*…*backs away even more slowly*…*wonders if anyone will ever go to the movies with Dater 1 again*

Heart, pink, anniversary, puzzle, love, marriage

I think I cracked my own heart.

Basically, I’m Dater 1. I’m sorry? Oh, I apologized for being away. I totally wrote a blog post wondering if that was necessary once. I feel it’s necessary today.

This is like when my husband asked me if my sink was rattling. I listened for a moment, then said yes. Upon further consideration I told him it had been rattling for a long time. Like perhaps months.

He asked why I didn’t tell him, my Mr. Fix It husband.

Um. It never occurred to me?

Life is like my broken sink. I get caught up in work, books, publishing, family and life. I turn around and it’s been too long.

This is a flaw in my character. One I will work on.

(Disclaimer: This does not apply to deadlines. I’m obsessive about meeting deadlines and obligations. Also anything related to publishing. If I delay there is a reason behind it. This blog post applies to, well, everything else.)

I wasn’t sure how to come back and share my flaw. I’m embarrassed by it. Then I remembered the time I called that one person who told me I hadn’t seen them in two months.

Remarkably, I can’t seem to remember their name…

Anyway, I’m back.

And Dater 2 never called back. I wonder what I did wrong.

Revenge of the lawn chair

26 Jun

This post is about a lawn chair. But to really get the story, I need to give you context. Last weekend, I dragged my husband to an Arts Festival with my parents for Father’s Day. It was a great day, but I burned. I burned from Seattle sun.

My cousin is getting married in Hawaii soon, and I realized that I can’t be this pale and go to Hawaii. I haven’t flirted with the sun in five years, and my skin is like a burn magnet. So, on Saturday, I woke up with the mad idea that I needed a lawn chair, so I could get a little tan, so that I don’t burn on the first day of Hawaii.

So I managed to convince my husband he needed to go with me and we went to Fred Meyers. I asked about my budget for this lawn chair, and he said $20.

Of course they didn’t have anything that cheap at Fred Meyers. So we went to Walmart. Here’s where it gets a little more interesting. Thanks for sticking around to get to a little more interesting.

Guess how much the lawn chair we found cost? $20. Exactly. Not $19.99 or $21.99. No. $20. Exactly. Really, husband? Do you always have to be exactly right?

We finally get this lawn chair home. Here it is, in fact:

Lawn Chair, Relaxing, Summer, Fun, Kinley Baker, Romance Author

And I put on a bikini from our honeymoon (no picture of that madness), which I will never again wear in public, because five years ago me was much more daring, apparently.

I get the chair all ready. Get the towels laid down. My husband is watching this with what I suspect is amusement. I sit down on the chair…

And it collapses. Like all the way. I fell on my back, and I couldn’t even get up because I was laughing so hard. It hurt. But man, was it funny. The stupid lawn chair. Revenge is a lawn chair’s bloodline.

I learned a valuable lesson over the weekend. Next time I think I have a brilliant idea, just stay home. Just stay home. Just stay home.

Have you ever been attacked by a lawn chair? Please tell me I’m not alone.

Kinley Baker

Mrs. Fix It

22 May

Most of you know I work as an Administrative Professional because I celebrated Admin Day, and no one really does that unless they’re an admin.

But I also have a superpower that comes in handy for being an admin. I have the ability to accidentally figure things out.

What can I say? It’s a gift.

Also related to this, people don’t find this amusing. One time someone in another department was having a problem and they were obviously frustrated. They asked if I could help, and I said I could probably figure it out accidentally.

They were not amused. I hate when my jokes go over poorly. Lol.

But then I did accidentally figure it out. Don’t ask me how.

I think we’re creating a generation of fixers with our constantly advancing technology. Our brains are learning to click around Word until we figure out Track Changes, or whatever issue we’re facing.

It’s always a little awkward when someone asks me something and I have to say, “Can I go try to figure it out on my computer?”

But everyone wins when things get fixed.

What do you think? Are you a fixer?

This post really got me thinking. I think we undervalue certain skillsets. Do you have a skill that comes in super handy but doesn’t necessarily translate into a career?

I like the idea of a generation of fixers. Let’s teach kids how to problem solve. I think the ability to take something frustrating and solve the issue simply is going to make life a little easier on everyone.

-Kinley Baker