Tag Archives: Married Life

The moment my husband made my life and SYTYCD

8 Aug
First Position, Dancing, Shoes, High Heels, Ballet Flats, Romance Author, Kinley Baker

My dance move.

Some of you might think my husband made my life on those key pivotal days like the day we decided marriage was a good idea or the day we actually pledged ‘til death do us part, but that is not the case.

The actual day my husband made my life was yesterday and it was has everything to do with So You Think You Can Dance.

This is my first season viewing and I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life until now! I am so obsessed it is ridiculous. It is the single show I watch in real time and I’m actually looking forward to Wednesday as a day of the week, which never happens!

Last night we were watching and my husband said *deadpan* “I don’t think he’s making the train.”

Then I erupted into hysterical laughter because he doesn’t even watch the show! He shouldn’t even know what the train is…

Yet, he does and he watched Ricky’s performance and he was not sure he’d make the train.

But then all the other judges went with their feedback and they all LOVED and he said again *deadpan* “Maybe he will make the train.”

This is exactly why I write romance. He totally made my life with this comment. It doesn’t make any sense but it happened.

I want all of you to be surrounded by people who make your life!!! I want all of you to love and be loved and succeed and have gold flaked ice cream.

This is from my most optimistic heart but it’s still true.

I want everyone to be happy and weather the storms. I want to write stories that are flickering lights in the darkness because if you haven’t noticed, life really sucks sometimes.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I blog. That’s why I write.

Find the people who make your life, and never let them go. Unless they want you to… I’m not condoning stalking.

The blog ends here, but can I just say I’m cheating on Ricky with Casey?!?!?! Casey is underrated and AMAZING.

I’m more likely to leave my husband for Jessica, but I have massive crushes on Casey and Ricky. And this is from someone who does not crush celebrities.

Kinley Baker (@KinleyBaker)
Kinley Cade (@KinleyCade)

The time my husband was like… do you really want to start obliging gender stereotypes in this relationship?

27 Nov

And I said, no.

The other day I said to my husband, go do (insert something) in the yard.

And he was like no.

And I was like, you’re the man, go do it (which is against everything I believe in but I said it).

And he was like, do you really want to start going by gender stereotypes in this relationship?

And I was desperately like, NO. Because holy hell if we did that I’d be screwed.

Kinley Baker/Kinley Cade

You’re doing it wrong

13 May

In every committed relationship, there comes that awkward moment when you have to tell your chosen partner they’re doing something wrong. Not just wrong. But like, really, really wrong. Usually, it’s something that builds and builds until the other person can’t handle it anymore.

In my case, it took five years. And the person doing something absolutely wrong is my husband.

I had to tell him. I thought about writing him an open letter, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t read it, so I just told him to his face.

Now, in most cases, I don’t like to tell people they are doing things wrong. There are lots of different ways to live, and who am I to judge people for their choices?

If another person wants to do nothing for their birthday, that’s fine.

But it’s not fine when it’s my chosen partner.

My husband celebrates birthdays wrong.

I am not okay with this.

It’s not just his birthday, but all birthdays.

He drove me crazy a few days ago when his birthday came around because he didn’t want anything special. He didn’t even want cake.

Basically, I spent the whole day being irritated because I wanted to make the day special, and he didn’t.

I know it’s not my birthday and blah, blah, blah, be mature, blah. But DUDE. I just wanted to celebrate his life.

That was bad enough. But now, my birthday is coming up and he keeps saying things like, “It’s not called a birthweek, it’s called a birthday.”

In my head I’m thinking, everyone knows you get to celebrate your birthday for the week before and the week after the actual day.

Then I realize that everyone probably doesn’t know that. And I’m ridiculous. My expectations for birthdays are too high.

And I’m probably the one who celebrates birthdays wrong!

But it’s the day we are BORN. If that event didn’t happen, we wouldn’t be here, so I think it deserves some celebrating.

In completely unrelated news, I bought an origami kit. So stay tuned for pictures! And I think this will replace the threat of the creepy puppet making.

-Kinley Baker

Puzzle failure, but super thoughtful failure

8 May

Like Valentine’s Day this year, I had no budget for my husband’s birthday. So I had to think of something thoughtful to make him for free.

Guess what I made?

Yes, a puzzle. How did you know?

So here’s the deal. Up until now, I haven’t been serious about puzzle making. And by I haven’t been serious, I mean I’ve never Googled how to make them.

But then my husband’s birthday present happened.

Puzzle Making, Puzzle Failure, Complete Puzzle Failure, Birthday Presents Gone Wrong, Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Author Kinley Baker

Complete Puzzle Failure

This puzzle fails in so many ways.

I had this strange idea of cutting the pieces at different angles, but it didn’t work. Not only that, but I numbered the pieces and somehow inverted them, so this puzzle will never be put back together. My husband will never see the full, completed design.

When this happened, I just felt like the whole puzzle world was thinking, poser. And I had this irrational need to become legit.

So I Googled puzzle making, which made me feel like more of a poser. Real pro puzzle makers probably don’t search How To Puzzle Make on the internet.

If I’m going to do this right, I have to do it right, right? No Google clues.

Anyway, it was a disaster. Luckily, his family got him amazingly thoughtful gifts, and I think he ended up having a pretty good birthday.

This just goes to show you. Not all puzzles are made to be solved.

Especially when the creator has no idea what they’re doing.

I wanted to end this post with, at least I didn’t have the idea to handcraft puppets. But now I’m going to end it with, maybe, next, I’ll try to make puppets.

-Kinley Baker

He’s such a romantic.

10 Apr

The other day in the car I was telling my husband about how I received a request for my contemporary friends-to-lovers story, and how it was awesome.

His response was his usual that is lame face. Apparently the friends-to-lovers phrasing is not to his liking.

(I will forever call him lover now. Just kidding. I can’t pull that off. I wish.)

I guess I should preface this conversation by saying I have always viewed our relationship in real life as a friends-to-lovers tale. Apparently, I am alone in this assessment.

I said: “Hey, our story is a friends-to-lovers story.”

Of course I must defend this trope, because it’s what brought us together, right?

Wrong.

His response: “More like… enemies to kind of okay to whatever.”

He’s such a romantic. And talk about the next romantic trope to hit the big time. I call dibs!

Rose, Flower, Kinley Baker, Author, Romance Author, Romance

A rose my husband did not give me.

Then later I explained I was writing this post, and I was laughing. He wasn’t amused.

I said: “Come on, this is hilarious.”

His response: “I know. I said it.”

Psh.

Such a romantic. And so humble.

The funniest part is that I don’t remember being enemies at all. I’m pretty sure he just thought I was super annoying and hated me for it.

Which is proof that I grow on people! So if you’re unsure about this blog, have no fear. You’ll go through the phases… severely dislikes to kind of indifferent to regular reader.

Buahaha.

This is how annoying people take over the world.

Also, to be fair (since my conscience always insists on this, no matter how inconvenient), here is a post that shows my husband can be romantic. When you realize you’re a thoughtless jerk. He won at Valentine’s Day.

-Kin

Who makes the sandwiches in your family?

5 Apr

Sometimes love is simple and it comes down to sandwiches.

Yesterday, I bit into the sandwich my husband made me at lunchtime and discovered there were jalapenos on it. Is your reaction to that information negative?

Because I thought it was awesome. It just so happened that I seriously needed some jalapenos on my sandwich. And I realized love can be simple. And sometimes it comes down to sandwiches.

Kinley Baker, Romance Author, Bread, Who makes the sandwiches in your family

Then I started writing this blog post in my head, and it took another direction.

My husband makes the sandwiches in this family. This might be different than other families. I like to think my husband and I explode gender dynamics like BOOOM. But maybe that’s giving us too much credit.

Also, if my husband reads this blog, there’s a good chance he’ll go on a sandwich strike (so it’s a good thing he doesn’t read my blog). This has happened before when I’ve brought up nice things that he does. Sometimes he views this as bragging, and he revokes the privilege.

My husband likes to do nice things. But he doesn’t like to be confronted about them. Lol.

Happy Friday. Enjoy your weekend. Eat a sandwich.

And hey, whoever makes the sandwiches in your family, fly that flag high and proud.

-Kin

When your husband doesn’t understand you’re a sincere person

1 Mar

Okay, I know my faults. I’m very reflective, and I dwell on my shortcomings. I’m antisocial and struggle to relate to people on non-awkward levels. (Small Talk should be banned worldwide, am I right?) I could go on and on and often do in my mind.

Despite all my horrible attributes which I’m sure plague the universe (Not really. That’s giving myself way too much credit.), I have one saving grace.

If there is one thing I am, it’s SINCERE. To a disastrous degree.

My husband does not understand this. He thinks I’m some mad scientist with experiments that I probably don’t have the brainpower to conceive of or to manipulate.

He is a master manipulator. I swear. He pretends he has a job, but I think he sits up in his evil villain tower and plots. If you’ve never been manipulated by my husband, you don’t understand his stealth. He is tricky. One minute I didn’t want to get married, and then BAM. It was happening.

Which is really more a joke on him. When he decided this relationship was a good idea, he had no idea how far the strange train stretched.

Choo Choo. All aboard!

He doesn’t understand that when I say things, or think things, or feel things, it is ALWAYS sincere.

The problem is that I also tend to flake out when it comes to reality. I hate going places, and doing things. I’m lazy. Not when it comes to writing, because I can do that from the comfort of my couch, but when it comes to everything else.

I’m lazy, awkward, and a social misfit. Do you see how this is all a bad combination?

When I plan things, I really do want to see my best friend from college. When it comes to actually driving to get there…

Oh yeah, did I mention I hate driving? Like seriously have a fear of driving. OH, and also, I hate being in cars in general. This drives my husband insane. I’ve tried to change my habits, but I just can’t.

When he complains, it’s like, dude… I’m stuck on this train. You bought a ticket.

My sympathy dries up as the years and tracks continue.

None of that changes the fact that I’m sincere.

For the record, I did manage to go to lunch recently with my friend from college, Mara, who is currently out traveling the world. So I’m not the worst thing since sliced bread. Not that anyone is insulting bread.

I ventured out into reality. I survived. I thrived. I felt like a real girl, and I’m probably related to Pinocchio.

I wish my husband understood that I’m not a mad scientist, despite all my desires to the contrary. I really am just an average person, struggling through life. I have good intentions, but we all know how easily those get lost.

Maybe when we commit our life to someone, they see all the levels of us, and they can’t quite believe the simplest truths. They relate your words to this case or that thing, and not everything adds up. So they assume it’s all a big cluster.

Which it is, because that’s life. We are a mass of contradictions. I’m working on a post I hope to get out there soon. It’s about embracing contradictions and allowing us to live our lives without judgment.

Whatever your beliefs, whoever you think created the world, don’t you think they had a wicked sense of humor? They had to have. They made people like us.

I’m thankful though. As the days pass and I realize all the horrible things about myself, I also slowly begin to accept. It doesn’t matter that I fear zombies, or that I think an alien invasion is inevitable.

I’m also sincere. I care about people and I care about the world. I want less people to hurt and more people to love. There’s value there.

If you have to shift through all the other junk just to get to there, I’ll help you wade through the garbage. Virtually, because we’ve already discussed that I’m a flake in real life.

This also frustrates my husband because he thinks if I care about people I should be out there with my shovel.

My goals are more to offer comfort from right here.

That’s why I write romance. To make others feel, and love, and hurt, but then to tend their wounds and assure them everything will be okay.

Everything will be okay. I believe that. Sincerely. We can’t let the world take away our sincerity, because then we’ll never get it back.

Keep dancing to your own tune, and enjoy your weekend, or what I like to call THE SLEEP IN REVOLUTION.

Kinley Baker (@kinleybaker)